Ferrets and Lightening Scars
by The Potter and The Malfoy
Summary: I squeezed him and started to sing at the top of my lungs, "DRACO I LOVE YOU, DRACO I DOOOOOO, WHENEVER WE'RE APART, MY HEART BEATS ONLY FOR YOOUUUUU!" If looks could kill, Pansy Parkinson would be on her way to Azkaban for my murder.


**Disclaimer****: We do not own any of the original Harry Potter characters or any Pop Culture reference we made. This is just for grins and giggles. **

**Warning****: Ginger bashing and mild insanity with a little fluff.**

_**If you like the characters please review and we will post the main story that they're in. The Potter and The Malfoy are writing an oh so epic fanfic X] **_

_**Well were'a gonna shut up now and let you read. ENJOY!**_

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"Dammit Ronald!" I screamed, while trying to wrestle the bag of gummy bears out of his hands."What the bloody hell is your problem, Avaline?" He yelled back. I punched him with my free hand. I could see everyone in the common room turn to watch our latest little argument.

"GUMMYBEARS HAVE BELLYBUTTONS!" I bellowed, letting go of the plastic bag full of gummy treats.

"Ummm so?" he said incredulously as he stuffed another handful of the delicious little bears into his gaping hole of a mouth.

"THAT MAKES THEM PEOPLE TOO!" I screamed again as I successfully grabbed the bag out of his hands and made a dash towards the window.

"GIVE THEM BACK, AVALINE!" Ron shrieked as he started to chase after me.

"BACK OFF, CREEPY GINGER CHILD!" I giggle/snorted as I reached the open window by the fireplace.

"WHAT **ARE** YOU DOING!" Ron shrieked when I threw my arms out side of the window.

" BE FREE! BE FREE, MY DELICIOUS, GUMMY FRIENDS!" I laughed manically as I tore the bag at the seams, letting the gummy bears plummet towards the grounds below.

My deed done, I began to dance in a flurry of flailing limbs and singing "I did it! Oh yeah, I'm supermegafoxyawesomehot!" at the top of my lungs. Finally, losing steam, I turned to look at my friends, only to see the entire common room staring at me as if I had completely lost my mind…and honestly, I couldn't argue with them.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Ummm, I don't know…YOU'VE JUST GONE COMPLETLEY BONKERS!" Ron screeched.

Behind him I could see my best friend, Josslen, gasping for breath as she clung to Harry for support.

" And…and…that's…why…we…love you!" she managed to gasp between bouts of laughter. "…Freaking creepy ginger child was trying to eat my colorful, gummy friends…." I mumbled.

"**THAT WAS DECKTASTIC!**" she said, finally managing to calm herself and fist pumping the air.

"Right-o!" Harry chimed in cheerfully.

"I'm hungry!" Ron whined, rubbing his tummy.

"When are you _not _hungry, Ronald?" Hermione said, looking up from her book to roll her eyes at him.

"I'm a growin' boy!" he said defiantly. Jo and I snorted.

"Doesn't mean you need to eat everything in your reach, Ronnykins." Jo said whilst throwing a pillow at his face.

"Nice shot but I'm booooooooooored!" I pouted, jumping on Jo.

"Meeeeeee tooooo, bother ginger?" she asked, smiling mischievously.

"Yes indeedy!" I said, my grin matching hers.

"Why do I have the feeling that I should be scared for my life?" The ginger squeaked.

"Because you should be Ronnykins!" Jo and I said at the same time.

"JINX! DOUBLE JINX! AHHHH GET OUT OF MY HEAD! STOP IT! RED VINES!….DOBBYS SOCKS! BILLOWY CAPE OF DOOOOOOM!" We looked at each other in amazement and slight fear.

"We are totally awesome!" Jo said while I flopped on the couch.

"I second that motion! Now how are we going to bug zeh ginger child?" I laughed.

"I'm right here, I can hear everything your saying." Ron said, still rubbing his stomach.

Ignoring him, Jo continued; "Give him a mustache?"

"A positively gianormous one?" I said, hanging my head upside down on the side of the couch.

"Lets make it sing 'I'm a little teapot'?" she said, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"I like the way you think Frost," I smiled at her. "But is there a spell that can do this?" I asked her.

"Well, we will just have to find out won't we?" she laughed darkly.

_-Two __**hilarious**__ hours later, in the Great Hall-_

"Let's go harass Drakie-poo!" Josslen said as we walked into the Great Hall for dinner.

"Yes, let's go harass my sexy little ferret boy!" I grinned.

"FERRRRRREEEEEEETTT!" We screamed, sprinting towards the Slytherin table.

We were two feet away from him when we both pounced on the gorgeous blond boy. "GAH!" he shrieked, with an _'oh my god, really?'_ look on his face as we all toppled to the floor. His fellow Slytherin's sending us death glares.

I squeezed him and started to sing at the top of my lungs, "DRACO I LOVE YOU, DRACO I DOOOOOO, WHENEVER WE'RE APART, MY HEART BEATS ONLY FOR YOOUUUUU!"

If looks could kill, Pansy Parkinson would be on her way to Azkaban for my murder.

"I love you too, you crazy girl." he laughed, snaking an arm around my waist as he attempted to lift us both off the floor.

"What about meeeee, ferret boy!" Jo fake pouted while Draco chuckled. "I love you too, Josslen!" he smirked as he pulled her into a hug and spun her in a circle, just as Harry walked into the Great Hall, looking our way, in displeasure.

"Does Potter seem…jealous?" Draco laughed, darkly, my favorite sideways smile on his face. Josslen blushed. "JO AND HARRY SITTING IN AH- FUCK!" I was interrupted by a sharp elbow to the ribs. "Oooooooouuuuch!" I whined, indignantly.

"You deserved it, Avaline!" She screamed back, drawing more attention from those that surrounded us. "Doesn't mean it didn't hurt!" I pouted, sticking my tongue out at her. That's when we heard "I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout…" Turning to the entrance of the Great Hall, we spotted our tall, red headed friend, who was currently sporting a huge handlebar mustache…..that was singing.

Looking back at each other, we started rolling on the floor with laughter, _literally_.

"You guys are so weird." Draco said, crouching on the floor next to us.

"_What_…is going on here?" came a voice from behind us. We looked up to see none other than Severus Snape.

"Oh, Snapadoodle! Its called laughing, you should really try it sometime!" I giggled, clutching my side as I continued to laugh.

"10 points from Gryffindor, !" He screeched

"Thanks Hermione!" Jo yelled towards the Gryffindor table.

"What did I do?" Hermione called back, her voice indignant. Jo just shrugged her shoulders as she continued to shake with laughter.

"10 more points from Gryffindor. We do not yell across the Great Hall like it's some _greasy_ saloon." He sneered.

"…..Can I wear your cape?" I asked, my head tilted to the side, staring at him.

"W-what? Most definitely not!"

"Is it billowy?" My curious, giggling friend asked innocently. "Well that's just a given, Jo." I responded, as straight faced as I could possibly manage.

Snape's face contorted in confusion and disgust. "Is it full of doom?" Jo asked him, trying to pick up a fold of his billowy cloak.

"S-s-s-stop that!" He demanded, pulling his cape out of her reach.

Our friends could be heard, laughing, from the Gryffindor table. Glancing over Snape's shoulder, we could see Harry's face gradually turning a brilliant shade of blue from the lack of oxygen, Hermione shaking her head in shame, while Ron tried to control his singing mustache.

"I think Snapie-poo was trying to speak in parseltongue, Josslen." I said, whilst doing a dramatic impression of his face and making strangled hissing noises.

"Gah! 20 points from Gryffindor!" He screeched.

"Ahhhhh, He doesn't looooove uuuuuuuusss!" Jo cried hysterically.

"That is _it!_ Go to the Headmasters office straight after dinner!" Snape roared, stalking away from us, terrifying all the first years from his path.

"….Well, we better go to our table now." I muttered, grabbing onto the shoulder of my weeping friend.

"I JUST WANTED TO BORROW THE CAPE!" She wailed as I pulled her towards our table.

"I love you, Draco." I smiled, reaching up to kiss him before making our way to our seats in-between Harry and The Twins.

"Having fun with Snape?" inquired _both_ the twins.

"Malfoy sure is handsy today, isn't he?" Harry growled from beside Josslen.

"Whoa, someone's snippy today, _isn't he?_" I said, leaning over her to look at him.

"I'm not being _snippy, _Avaline!" He snapped at me, also leaning over her.

"Drop the attitude, Harry Potter!" Josslen told him, pushing our faces out of her space and grabbing his cheeks, getting dangerously close. "You're acting like Garfield on a Monday." Everyone gasped and Dean could be heard from farther down the table, "Oh, Damn!"

"W-w-well I just don't like his greasy ferret hands all over my girlfriend!"

"Hey! His hands are not greasy!" I cried out, smacking the back of his head from behind Jo.

"Hey! Don't touch my scarhead or I'll five finger death punch your ferret!" She threatened, glaring at me.

"Don't make me show Harry the pictures, Josslen!" I snapped back.

"Pictures?" inquired Harry, genuinely curious.

"Shup, Potter!" We both growled, making him shrink back, timidly.

"You wouldn't dare, Avaline!" Jo whispered, fiercely. I paused as if I was contemplating my choices but before I could come to a conclusion, Josslen turned in the general direction of where Draco sat at the Slytherin table.

"DRACO GUESS WHAT AVALINE DID WITH FRED THIS SUMMER!"

"AHHHH, JOSSLEN NICHOLE FROST, SHUT YOUR FACE HOLE!" I screamed, tackling her to the floor. We rolled on the hard ground of the Great hall, exchanging foul language and low blows. The males around us cat called and applauded our fight while Draco and Harry tried to pull us apart, only to give up seconds later.

"Get a hold of your girlfriend, _Potter!_" Draco yelled at Harry.

"Well, you don't exactly have a hold of yours either, _Malfoy!_" Harry snapped back.

"Gah! Low blow, low blow!" I yelped after Josslen sucker punched my right boob.

"Muahahahahahahahah…ha." She sat back laughing holding her sides.

After the pain subsided I looked at my best friend and aimed a kick at her, hitting Harry's shin instead. "Bloody hell!" he cried as he toppled onto Josslen, which only made me laugh harder.

"Where are all the teachers?" Hermione sighed in exasperation.

"I dun care, this is entertaining!" Ron said, stroking his singing mustache.

"Right-o!" said The Twins.

"Ah! Avaline, I'm going to make you wash Snape's hair for this!" Josseln screeched, trying to disentangle herself from Harry, as I stood there giggling.

"Dammit…help us up, bitch!" She demanded.

"But…But why?" Harry pouted.

"Why, what?" Jo asked, confused and slightly irritated as she stopped struggling to glance up at him.

"Why do you want to leeeeeaaaave me?" He frowned, trying to hide his smirk.

"Oh damn it, I cant resist!" she giggled, pulling him into a kiss, while Draco gagged.

"Shield your innocent eyes!" I laughed, pouncing on his back so I could cover his eyes. "Innocent?" He smirked. "You know for a _fact_ that's completely inaccurate, Avaline!"

He uttered before pulling me into a tight hug. "Its not my fault your just completely irresistible!" I smiled.

A gagging sound could be heard from behind me, accompanied by a giggle.

"Harry, shut up and kiss me!" Jo demanded.

"Seriously, where are the teachers?" Hermione questioned in utter disbelief.

Ron eyed her up and down. "Wanna just…you know….snog?"

Hermione sighed and shook her head "Oh Ronald…." Ron looked away, dejectedly. And that's when Hermione pounced on him.

Glancing up from Draco's shoulder I could see Dumbledore watching us over his steepled fingers, his face set in an amused and knowing smile and I felt that this was the way everything was supposed to be.

Though the funny thing was. Dinner hadn't even started yet.

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**(A/N: That was a little inside view of our story. If you want us to post the whole thing, let us know! R&R is helpfullll!**

**Mucho appreciato people! **

**Josslen: Why the HELL is it in your point of view!**

**Avaline: Because i'm totally awesome!  
**

**Josslen: ...Bitch. Next ones mine!**

**Avaline: Maybe next time, Snapeadoodle will let us wear his cape! :D**

Josslen: If not...we wash his hair.

**Snape: NUUUUUUUUU!**

**Girls: YEEEESSSSAAAAHHHH! Toodles!)**


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